I have never been very good at dealing with the police. I always come off as a smart-ass, and whenever I claim to be innocent, not only am I generally not believed, but it tends to make my questioner lose his patience. I also have a special gift for creating misunderstandings in the dialogue. This tends to stoke the already simmering anger of the police, whose sole aim is to pry loose a nice solid confession and go home, happy to have earned their salary.

When I became Jason, an English computer expert, I returned to a calmer and far more comfortable lifestyle. The cover verged on perfection; the one tiny defect was my complete ignorance of the English language and computers.

It was a stunning blow to learn that there was no warrant for my arrest, much less an international all-points bulletin. I had lived for years like a hunted animal, while no one at all was looking for me, not even back home. That’s injustice for you.

I asked nothing more than to be judged justly. My act didn’t always play well with my audience, and the reviews (which came in the form of verdicts) often panned my performance. In the end, however, the theater company of justice decided that, cost what it may, that role would belong to me for all time, even after the production had finished its run, and no more performances were scheduled. Playing “out of character” had therefore been my way of choosing freedom.

As a child of the Seventies, I grew up thinking that death could be as light as a feather or as heavy as a mountain. Lolo’s death sailed over the rooftop of the world.

The least appealing part of the day, though, was definitely lunch. Our shepherd had decided that the finest specialty of the area was armadillo, and there wasn't a single Sunday that his wife failed to cook us up an armadillo—but only after clubbing the critter to death before our eyes.

The ideal way to ensure a healthy digestion is to go to the movies. The movie house is a place of truce, a non-combat area where, once the lights are dimmed and the film is running, the only reality is the movie itself. All the little realities of the individuals in the audience are canceled.

Did you hear what they told me?’‘I did.’‘What am I supposed to put in my report? That I arrested the twelve Apostles because they were traveling without passports?

In ten days’ time, the police only managed to set down two pages of legal transcripts. In brief, it was an unpleasant experience. I only think back on it when I piss and I notice the whitish scars that the electrodes left on my dick.

What I'm trying to do is save your ass, gorgeous.